Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What made you recently say to yourself, “Wait. Really?”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Single photon detected in multiple locations simultaneously, fueling the multiverse debate - Earth.com

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What Your Sweat Could Reveal About Your Health - CNN

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

AI Links Early Life Risks to Behavioral Challenges at Age Five - Neuroscience News

I actually pay taxes

I understand how hurricane paths work

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

China Considers Ordering Hundreds of Airbus Jets in Major Deal - Bloomberg.com

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why do flat-earth conspiracy theorists believe that photos from space, including those of satellites, are fake?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fakery

Over 7 million Americans are unemployed — the most since 2017. Why it won’t get better anytime soon. - MarketWatch

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t buy bullshit

Why do men think I’m easy just by looking at me?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Attenborough's Ocean a Brutal, Beautiful Wake-up Call - Newser

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Oregon State leaves no doubt, outslug Florida State to reach College World Series - OregonLive.com

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I see through liars

8 Things Knee Doctors Say You Should Never, Ever Do - HuffPost

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Hallucinogens Linked to Milder PTSD - Neuroscience News

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Remarkable Rescue: Houston Handles Turkish Airlines Diversion After Passenger Suffers Stroke - Simple Flying

I can count

I have a reading level above third grade

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

SpaceX May Be Failing to Get Starship Working at All - futurism.com

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can read

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that